run run

I have realised I'm not ready for the future yet. In 2 years, I'll be taking my O Levels. And at the same time my sister Janet will be overseas. To study at some university. I cannot imagine how quiet and lonely it'll be without her presence. It's true, we get into multiple arguments and disagreements often but she brings life (in both bad and good ways, haha) to the house.

I have realised I'm not ready for the future yet. In the upcoming year, my eldest sister Kate will turn 20 in January. She can get married at the age of 21, and if not probably just move out of the house into a new one. Possibly with her husband if she gets married. It's true too, that her age sounds really old, but deep within her I know there's a child screaming and banging at the cage for attention and care. She treats me like how a teenage sister should treat another sister. She thinks the way a teenage girl thinks. Which is a good thing, really. Although she talks like one hell of a mother now, she's still young to me. Janet says that when she turns 21, she'll have to move out of the house 'cause with those 2 digits, you're too old to be staying under the same roof as your parents. I disagreed entirely. 'Once a child, always a child.'

I have realised I'm not ready for the future yet. Some might say I have some talent (I doubt so) but in college or something, what should I study? Law? Accounting? Arts? Literature? Science? What? They all don't fit in the right places in my mind.

If all the things that we (us three) expect would happen, happens, I imagine my life being melancholic and I'll end up being one solitary sister. I'm such a fool when it comes to the future.