it has been a rough year, namely just the past two months. you don't really feel it until it hits you, you know you just live your life everyday like it just accumulates until one day you just realise
it has always been like this for me, very melodramatic.
today i realise i am very clingy and very dependent. i feel so alone whenever i am not with someone, i don't feel my best. i am always looking for someone and i'm starting to think people are getting annoyed by that.
i don't feel like i belong anywhere, not in my school, not at my home. when I'm at home i wish i didn't come home when I'm in school i wish i didn't go.
i cannot eat during break alone it makes me feel sad and??? alone??? sometimes i feel like I'm not invited. i just like clung to my classmate just now like i depended on her. i also feel like i depend on aisyah too much like i always want to see her and i always want to go back with her
i just don't like being alone???
and it sucks because i don't feel like i belong anywhere. when I'm with aisyah and her friends i feel like I'm just being intrusive and annoying. when I'm with my classmates i feel like an absolute loner because i don't rly have a friend in class???
especially my sem 1 friends omg i finally came to terms that they were my friends but none of them even talk to me its like nothing ever happened in sem 1. and I'm sad because i was really close to those ppl or i thought i was and i thought like i was special to them but when year 2 started its like we didn't even know each other???
i feel so clingy and annoying
when I'm at home I'm always not wanted home like i get kicked out of every room and my dad doesn't even like me???
when I'm at home i don't even have privacy i can't be anywhere i don't have a room I'm always having to dodge my brother in law its really troublesome and difficult.
do i not get along with people because of me???? is it true??? am i really that hard to get along with??? do i really have an attitude problem???? all the people that i think like(d) me is it actually true???? are all of them just hypocrites???? i mean i rly appreciate honesty just don't lead me on and don't make me feel like a special friend u ono
i am very sad i don't really feel like i have friends
even like my next to best friend doesn't talk to me anymore??? when i see her its just so awkward???
its like nobody even wants me around?
i probably sound like a big baby brat but this is really bothering me and i feel very unwanted alone and unaccepted
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