I am trapped in an ocean full of sorrows and regret
Inundating shivers stripping me of all sensitivity
I'm numb, cold, heartless
I see them prancing around exuberantly
I wonder
What is that they have that I can never possess?
I think I know the answer
Happiness, of course
I'm enthralled by how much has been debunked
Yet they enjoy every second as if it doesn't matter
No matter how deep they've been shoved down
Into the endless pit of happiness
I'm sure through the cracks lurk the darkness that can haunt them back
I think to myself
That's not what I don't own
It's what they do own but I never treasure
I don't see how a price can be put onto something so inexplicable
Not because of it's drastic worth
Because it comes every once in a while
So seldom that I'm sure there's never going to be a next time
I think to myself again
What it is that I dont have?
Then I'm assailed by a pang of shock
Feelings, I don't have feelings
Regardless of the absence of it
It's not that I don't possess them because I don't deserve them
I don't earn them
No
It's because I've been darted too far
I've been exposed for such a long period of time
I've grown immune to everything
I've grown immune to any sort of pain
I've reached a tunnel of darkness
A tunnel that has no end
A tunnel that has no light
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